Day 1

Hi, everyone. This is my first blog and there is so much to tell. First off, let me explain the brilliance that is Jim's mother, who will from here on out be referred to as The Goddess Lynn. When arriving in Dallas to wait for our flight to Honolulu, The Goddesss Lynn jumped on her phone (as Jim and I were sipping - guzzling - mimosas in something amazing called the "Admiral's Club") and got us ALL upgraded to business class. They called in Business Class but I swear it was First because I was in the second row and there was no where to go but the pilot's lap. It was a beautiful experience and one for which I will be forever grateful. I am trying to figure out how to never, ever, fly coach again.
Honolulu looks like L. A. Period. It is a big concrete jungle with traffic and lots of tourists that fall into three crowds - Over 50, Asian, Newlyweds. We discovered that it is cheaper for young couples from Asia to get married in Hawaii than at home and it is basically like Vegas for them. The hotel is filled with newly betrothed couples in rented gowns and tuxes and their followers. Our goal is to get invited to one of these ceremonies. I am always on the lookout for an Asian couple that is sort of drunk with mooniness over each other, so I can step in and offer our services as token Americans.
Yesterday we drove around the island. Oahu is beautiful, once away from Honolulu. We headed up to the Northshore to look for Jack Johnson and any other random surfer hotties deserved of our staring. On the way Jim, who is always in my brain, spotted "Ted's Bakery" and did a quick and necessary u-turn. We discovered what may be the greatest buttered dinner roll in the history of the world. If you think this is trivial, then you don't know us at all.
Our other discovery about Hawaii is shirts are really not necessary or even an option for a lot of the boys we encounter. We are not complaining. No matter what part of town, time of day, or pedigree of the establishment, boys will be topless. Ahhh, there goes one now...
After driving and seeing all of the beautiful beaches, we napped and prepared for THE SOCIETY OF SEVEN. Okay, I blame myself for this. It was my idea and Jim went along with it like a champ. I think we actually were excited about what we were going to see, until we got there. The Society of Seven (SOS) is a musical-comedy troupe that got rave reviews on Yahoo! Travel. I simply did not know what we were going to see. Basically, we were on a cruise ship. It felt like a cruise ship. The crappy buffet and sparkly silver-blue curtains looked like a cruise. The over 60 patrons (no offense, I love my over 60 friends - I am just not over 60) in their hawaiian shirts felt cruise-esque. And then the show began...
From Celine to Sinatra, they covered the greats. Bert, Ernie, Kermit and Miss Piggy. Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean-O. Bob Dylan. The Beatles. And it was amazingly wonderful and somewhat disturbing all at the same time. Everyone should see this group, if for no other reason than to sit open-mouthed gaping like we did.
Until tomorrow....